SantaClaus.com

Message from Santa:
Dear Boys and Girls, now you can pre-order your Christmas gift from SantaClaus.com ! No more writing stupid and time consuming letters! If you were nice,  you get everything 50% off everything in our catalog including our world famous delivery! Sorry,  due to the high demand,  we're all out of make-you-skinny magic. However, you can still purchase some make-your-friends-fat magic! Happy holidays Ho! Ho! Ho! (Ugh,  I hate saying that, it's so stupid)
                                                  From Santa

Re: Message from Santa
Santa! R U 4 real? 10 bucks a mile If you were nice for delivery? Legit? That's such a ripoff! Not to mention your toy prices 20 bucks for a teddy bear? No way. Santa, your business isn't gonna catch on. You gotta fix your terrible prices!
                        From Random nude dude

Re: Re: Message from Santa

Dear Random nude dude,  please understand that the stupid plutonium prices are high right now.  Also do you have any idea how expensive flying reindeer are for hire? Plus it's a torture getting them to do what I want them to. Not to mention how much I paid for my flying sleigh! And the elves? Do you have any idea how many I've gotta hire? Stealth is a problem too. I don't imagine you have to hide from the world year-round. So yeah, my prices are totally fair.
                                                  From Santa